This past weekend, I went camping with some WestC Hubsters (our not-so-small group is referred to as a “hub.” Hubs are formed regionally, so ours is the West Central Hub, hence WestC Hubsters). On a lovely and sunny Friday evening, we packed up all our gear, and headed to Yellowstone. Lake, that is. Not THE Yellowstone. Just Yellowstone Lake.
I was asked to bring in the later carpool, as we had a couple people who couldn’t leave until later in the evening. We arrived by about 9:00pm to a camp that was already set up for us. Fantastic! Not having to put up tents in the dark made me quite the happy camper. We unloaded all our gear, got ourselves settled in, and sat down for a night of guitar and djembe (it’s been a while since I’ve played my djembe – felt good!) and chatting around the fire. It was a great way to start off the camping trip…
And then, the lightning and the thunder came. And then, buckets of rain.
Now, keep in mind… I absolutely adore thunderstorms. They may be one of my most favorite things in creation. However, when you suddenly find that there’s a lake in your tent at 1:00am, they tend to not be as fun to have around. Our tent ended up having a massive amount of water in one of the corners. Because we didn’t really know what other options we had, I gave my mostly-dry sleeping bag to the girl who had previously been sleeping in the lake of water, took off with a pillow and an umbrella, and ran barefoot through the mud and rain to my little Versa, where I would cozy up for the evening.
When I got to my car, I was soaked. I thought about curling up in the back seat, but one of the girls who had been in my car had paperwork in the back seat that she had been working on. I was completely wet and I didn’t want to ruin it. So, I decided to sit in the front seat. I got into my car, pulled off my soaking wet pillowcase, curled my pillow up next to me, covered my arms with a hoodie, and tried my best to fall asleep…
But sleep never really came.
The lightning was constant and the thunder fairly loud, making it somewhat difficult to fall asleep. Not to mention the fact that I still had a bit of adrenaline pumping through my system. As I sat there though, trying to sleep in my car, somewhat cold and completely soaked, I started thinking…
About 2 years ago, I had come up with this project I wanted to do. I wanted to live in a car for a year. Now, the plan was a bit more in-depth than that, and there were reasons behind my wanting to live in a car for a year. But that was the basic idea behind it – live in my car for a year.
What started my idea was that I had two friends named Johanna and Jason, who had just taken a trip with a couple of their friends out west. They drove the whole way and traveled in a Honda Element. They were telling me just how great the Honda Element was – that it was roomy, and had seats in the back that folded down, making it large enough for an air mattress and a cozy place to sleep. I think they may have even said, “You could live in it!”
That of course got my brain ticking… and I wondered, “What if I sent in a proposal to Honda, asking them to give me a Honda Element, and in return, I would spend a year living in it, blog about it, make short videos about it, etc. and provide them with some advertising in the effort?” Granted, how “far reaching” my advertising for them would have been was definitely debatable. But I thought it could have been a great idea… The titled of my project was going to be "Elemental: 365 Days in a Honda Element" and the idea was to live on the basic "elements" of life. My hopes were that, in my “year long” house sabbatical, I’d learn what it meant to live on very little. I realized that I would not be simulating poverty in any way shape or form. I mean, after all, I had a car. I would have two HUGE things that people who are homeless do not have – shelter and transportation. I also planned to retain my job. Basically, the only things that would have been different were where I went to sleep each night, where I showered, how I ate, and how much stuff I’d have with me.
My plan was to sell almost all my possessions, taking with me only the few clothes I would need to work (oh the joys of dress code), and the few items I’d need in order to do some of the writing/videoing I wanted to do. But everything else – my musical instruments, my massive book, DVD and music collection, my electronics – everything – I’d sell.
Part of the reason I wanted to do this was to prove to myself (and maybe others) that “stuff” doesn’t make you happy. And part of it was to break myself of the habit of desiring and acquiring more and more “stuff.” I think also, I really wanted to see how creative I could get with learning to live on less. And finally, I wanted to spend some serious time thinking about all the people in the world who, not by choice, have very little to live on, and who would probably give anything to have even a car to sleep in at night.
And that’s a lot of what I thought about the other night when I slept in my car while camping. I really wrestled with my selfish thoughts… That first night, I was frustrated that we all had to sleep in our cars. As I was curled up under my hoodie – wet and cold – I was frustrated that I was sitting in an uncomfortable seat, wet and cold. But I started thinking about the fact that for me, it was one night. I would survive, I’d make it through, and the next night would be better. And in a couple of nights, I’d be back in the comfort of my own bed, surrounded by all the “stuff” I’ve come to love. I thought about the fact that there are millions in this world who do not have that luxury, who do not have the hope that the next night, they’ll be dry, warm, and safe somewhere. They do not have the luxury of seeking shelter in a car. They do not have the luxury of having a hoodie to pull over them to keep warm, and a pillow to comfort their head. They do not have the luxury of waking up the next morning to a huge spread of food, and friends that love them.
The past few months, our Hub has spent time going through the Sermon on the Mount – a ridiculously challenging and yet amazing portion of scripture. As I lay there under the constant lightning and thunder, I couldn’t help but think through the part where it talks about treasures on earth vs. treasures in heaven. Even this past week, I heard from a woman who spent a large portion of her life living on the streets - her story brought me to tears. I realized how often I am ungrateful, and even complain about all of the “treasures” I have here – treasures I should care less about! I thought about how I depend so much on my ability to buy my comfort and happiness. And yet, I realized how unfulfilling that is, and how un-Christlike it is as well.
I’m not saying that “stuff” is inherently bad. I’m not saying that I should deny myself everything in the world. However, what I’m saying is that over the past couple of years, but even moreso recently, I’ve come to realize just how much I depend on “stuff” and how it’s come to control me.
I don’t know what’s next as far as changing this… I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what my next move should be. But at least my brain is thinking, and I’ve become more conscious of my behavior.
Today, I’m going to visit a community house in the heart of Milwaukee. For a few years now, I've had a huge desire to live in a community house! I’m pretty excited to see how they’re “living on less” and really helping the kingdom come to earth. In less than 3 weeks, I’ll be in Gulu, Uganda. I’m quite sure that experience will also blow my mind. I’m so excited to learn… I just pray that I’m able to soak it all in, and really make some changes in my life.
May I be a person who constantly questions my "need" for stuff, who learns to store my treasures not on earth but in heaven, and who genuinely seeks for Your kingdom to come, and Your will to be done.
On Treasures: Thoughts from Sleeping in a Car
the ride
A long time ago, there was a television show called "My So Called Life." Being a young teen when this show emerged, I totally fell in love with it. And Jordan Catalano? Come on. I mean, here was this mysterious guy with long hair, piercing blue eyes, and who played guitar - what young teenage girl wouldn't fall in love?
It was that show that made me a fan of Jared Leto... Quite a few years later, he created a band called 30 Seconds To Mars. I picked up the album merely out of curiosity. I liked a couple of the tunes, but for the most part, it wasn't totally my style. However, when their second album came out - A Beautiful Lie - I became more intrigued. Not so much with their music (though, their second album was much better than their first), but moreso with their music videos. The first video mirrored a movie I love - The Shining. The video was done really well - very moviesque. The second video - From Yesterday - had some AMAZING shots as well. Brilliant.
But for some reason, this video - for the song "Kings and Queens" off their third album - just makes my heart happy. I don't totally know why. Especially since it contains a few folks with creepy face make-up. But there is something about this video that I find utterly fantastic. I love that there's this massive group, a rag-tag posse of people, riding their bikes around really late at night through the city. I love that they all seem to be connected to one another even though they all look really different - and I love that they're all different! It kind of feels like you have the inside look into some sort of secret club or something. I'm not entirely sure... Maybe the reason I like this video is because secretly (or not so secretly now) I have a ridiculous fascination with bike messengers. It's true. I do.
All I know is that I really really enjoy this video... and so I thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy!
and you shall love
“Hear O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall speak of them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Quite a few years ago, I learned about this Jewish prayer called Shema Yisrael (or just Shema). It incorporates a few different sections of scripture, including Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (above) which is one of my favorite passages in scripture. I just love the Old Testament, and as a Christian, this portion of the Bible contains one of the greatest commandments – to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength.
And you shall love…
Today, I did something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time – I got a tattoo. However, I didn’t want to get just any old tattoo. I wanted to get something meaningful. I’ve known for a while that I wanted a tattoo on my wrist, and that I wanted something in Hebrew. I originally thought about getting “adopted” because I am now an adopted child of God. However, I thought this might be a little tricky and hard to explain to others. As I started thinking more, I landed on the word “love.” Each day, I have to choose to love. It’s not always easy. Sometimes my natural inclination is to do the opposite of love. And I felt like having a tattoo of the word “love” might serve as a good reminder to daily choose to love. However, I only knew the translation for the noun form of love, not the verb. I had no idea how to translate it… So, I decided to settle on the noun form.
Two and a half hours before I was supposed to get my tattoo, things changed…
I got into an IM conversation with my friend Kristina, who was asking me about my tattoo. I told her that what I really wanted was the verb form of love, but didn’t know what version to use, and didn’t really like the look of the verb forms I had found. Kristina decided to help me out. Working at Elmbrook, she headed down to the resource library and sent me roughly 8 different pictures she’d taken of Hebrew bibles/texts. She sent me one image that had a translation for “and you shall love.”
I instantly fell in love with how it looked, and with the meaning behind it.
So, around noon today, Solid State’s rock star artist John tattooed “and you shall love” on my wrist. My favorite partners in crime - Kate Berumen and Lady Z - were there to witness the event.
I’m so excited by this phrase… and I love being able to share with people what it means, and why it’s there. Each day, I’m reminded to love God with everything in me – with my entire being. However, it doesn’t stop there… “and you shall love” also reminds me to continually choose to love those around me – to make the conscious choice to be more loving. It serves as a reminder that loving other is what’s expected of me.
Getting this tattoo today was so good on so many levels… I freaked out a bit at the size (it was a little bigger than I was imagining) and my freakishly pale skin makes it stand out quite a bit. But I love that it’s permanent. I love that later in the Shema, it says, “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand” and that’s sort of what I did today.
May this tattoo serve as a reminder to continually pursue God with my entire being, and to love those around me with the love of Jesus.
