to sing in the silence: converse in winter

converse in winter

I love shoes. But, I’m not your typical shoe lover. Most women who claim to love shoes collect all sorts of fancy shoes – sexy stilleto heels, shiny patent leather flats, cute summery wedges… Not me though. I love sneakers, kicks, tennis shoes… whatever you’d like to refer to them as. Especially of the low-top Chuck Taylor persuasion. I also absolutely adore flip-flops. I could live in a pair of converse or flip-flops year round, as I absolutely love them. While my converse collection is pretty pathetic (I only have 4 pair), I do rather enjoy them, and always have my eyes open for new colors and styles.

I hate winter. But most of you who live in Wisconsin know why. Too much snow. Sub-zero temperatures. I find nothing fun in those two facts. I’ve lived here for 28 years – why, I’m not entirely sure. But I do know one thing – I hate winter and everything that comes with it. Ok, well, snow ball fights can be fun… I guess that’s one benefit.

However, as I was driving in my car today, with temperatures slowly sinking closer and closer to zero, I realized something – my love for shoes, and my hatred of winter most definitely do not mix.

Obviously, flip-flops in the wintertime isn’t even a consideration – though I did go to school with a guy who ran around all winter completely barefoot. But wearing converse in the winter isn’t completely out of the question – I mean, they are closed toed shoes. They should be good, right?

I remember once when I was in high school, I went sledding not wearing boots, but wearing converse instead. I guess I must not have believed in boots. Until this past winter, I haven’t owned boots since I was a little kid (minus the Dr. Martin phase I had in high school). I went sledding wearing nothing on my feet but a pair of socks and a pair of converse shoes. I remember at the end of my sledding excursion, I couldn’t feel my feet. Literally. I’d wiggle my toes, massage them, and all I could feel was a little bit of pressure, but barely anything else. They were bright red, almost purple. I was so uncomfortable for a couple of hours, and they hurt the worst when they started warming up. And yet, I know for a fact, I didn’t learn my lesson that day. I’m pretty sure I sported the converse sledding attire at other points throughout my teenage and early adulthood years.

Today, I found myself doing the same thing. No, I did not go sledding… But I wore my converse shoes out in 6 degree weather, and while driving in my car – toes near frozen - I came to the realization that trying to force my love for converse and hate for the severe cold is NOT a good idea.

Now, in classic “Tory” fashion, I started thinking more about this idea – the fact that I insist on wearing paper thin shoes out in ungodly temperatures. It made me start to think about how often I force something because of my deep love for it, even if clearly it is not good for me.

Who I spend time with, how I spend my time, where I work, where I go to church – these are all things that I can either love like converse, or hate like winter. If they’re more like winter, I pull a bear-like move, and hibernate – basically, I do my best to hide away from the things I cannot stand.

However, with the things I love, so often, I try to wear the converse when the weather man says to put on your fattest boots and Alaskan parka.

Take relationships… There have been plenty of times where I’ve been in unhealthy friendships, and yet, because of my love for that person – because of the comfort they bring, the attention they give me, or whatever reason they possess that allows me to love them so much, I continue to keep them close. I wear the converse in winter.

Working at the Rescue Mission is another prime example… I loved it there. Those kids were my life. However, I wore converse there for quite some time. I got to a point where I knew my feet would freeze, and I could potentially lose a toe or two if I stayed. It was such an unhealthy environment, and it was not only causing problems for me and my heart, but I’m sure it caused other people pain. There came a time, where, despite my love for the Mission – I needed to give it up. I needed to do what was good for me, and for the Mission. I needed to put away the converse, and put on the boots and parka.

I have a few pair of converse in my life right now during a time of winter. There are a few things that may require me to let go, and put on the boots and parka. There are things where I need to consider my health, my spirituality, and my sanity – rather than my deep love for laced canvas with rubber toes.

The converse are hard to leave behind… But in all honesty, can I truly enjoy wearing them if I’m miserable? If my toes are frozen, a color that resembles bruised flesh rather than a normal rosey peach, what is the point in forcing it? Sure the converse are comfy and look cute, but what purpose are they serving? What good comes of it?

There comes a point in time where wearing converse is well worth suffering for. But there are times where it’s time to put them away, and wear what provides me safety from the dreadful winter looming outside.

1 comments:

Rebecca January 13, 2009 at 5:35 PM  

Wow Tory,
Talk about a great analogy there. I enjoyed reading that, you should blog more often.
love ya girl!


ps I'll help you with your "boots" if you need anything

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"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible." ~Vladimir Nabakov