enjoy

Yesterday I got to spend some time with one of my favorite people in the world. I’ve known my friend C for probably 18 or so years now, but my friendship with him has always been kind of funny. We’ve known each other for a long time, but I think we have a conversation with each other maybe 2-3 times a year…

Despite the fact that I only see him on occasion, he is one of those people that I always enjoy getting to reconnect with because he ignites such an energy in me that is rare. And yesterday was no exception.

The past couple of days have been filled with little sleep and lots of thoughts. Yesterday afternoon, I was wrestling through a TON of thoughts, and a lot of them pertained to my future – what’s next in the life of Tory. For probably the past 4 years, I’ve had a lot of on-again off-again thoughts about what it would look like to live a life of simplicity – to get rid of the bulk of my “stuff,” live in a small studio or 1 bedroom apartment with very little “stuff” and live off a meager salary, but doing something I love. Take an $8-10 an hour job working with kids making art all day, or something of that nature. I’ve thought a lot about moving to a different country for a while too. And given the events and thoughts of this past week, now might be the time to move forward. As I was wrestling through some of these thoughts, I found that I became overwhelmed by just how much I was thinking about. My friend C popped into my head. Why? Well, because C and I have had our share of conversations about what it means to be a Jesus follower, and also what it means to live on less. My friend C is a ridiculously fantastic example of what it means to live on less.

As I walked into his apartment yesterday – my first time ever in his new place – I was immediately inspired. C is a graphic designer and artist, and his apartment was the most inspirational apartment I’ve ever been in. Literally. As I walked in, the first thing I saw was a chair strapped to the ceiling. I laughed because if I tried to strap a chair to the ceiling, it would look silly. But this just fit. As I walked through the hallway into his “office” I walked into a room that had a beautiful mural covering the ceiling and the walls. Old crates arranged fantastically to display art books. Wires running across corners with art magazines hanging over them. Photography prints all over the place. It was SO fantastic. I told him when I first arrived to forgive me if I was really distracted during our conversation because there was simply too much to look at and too much to admire. Not that his house was filled with a ton… but there was just art everywhere – and it was fantastic!

What was even more fantastic was the conversation we had… Our conversation was all over the place (as are most of my conversations with C), and yet, what I always love about my conversations with him is that in his eyes, things are always do-able. I have a couple of friends that see life this way – that anything is possible – but with C, he makes me feel like anything is do-able, and yet doesn’t seem to make me feel bad or discouraged if I can’t see that possibility right away. If I start to throw excuses at him on why I think it’s not possible, he might just suggest a different way of looking at it or a way around it. He also recognizes that people come with different baggage and while everything is always do-able, the path there might look really different. And even though sometimes I get really overwhelmed by his suggestions, even though sometimes I think what he’s suggesting ISN’T do-able, I know that it is without him having to tell me – because he’s living proof.

I won’t give you exact figures… my friend C is pretty modest about telling people what he lives on per year. But I will tell you this. It is astonishing. I am baffled that he’s been able to do what he’s done, and how little he’s been able to live on. He’s mad creative, and has come up with some really clever ways around certain expenses. He has found ways to keep his expenses extremely low, and his joy of living extremely high. Whenever I think about the idea of loving every minute of life – loving what you do every day, and that what you love to do is your life – I think of C. That is why he came to mind yesterday, and that is why I stopped over to chat with him.

I’m tired of letting my debt own me. I’m tired of being in a job I hate (even though I know I can be a “light” in a job I hate, why spend the majority of my life fighting against something I hate). I sat across from him yesterday saying, “I don’t even know what I enjoy doing anymore.”

And that’s true. It’s a sad fact, but true. That came to light even prior to my conversation with C. My life over the past year has become solely dependent upon relationships and the commonalities I have in those relationships. I’ve walked away from things like photography, painting and writing because they didn’t totally fit in with my new friendships. I have loved the new friendships I’ve built – they’re great. There have been things I’ve done with my new friends that I enjoy, but I’ve put too much weight on those, and have lost the other things I used to love. I sat across from C and said, “I literally don’t know what I LOVE doing anymore.” We talked about a couple of things – things I THINK I’d love to do – and he gave me some really practical suggestions – things he’s been suggesting to me for quite some time now, and I just never really listened.

But maybe now is the time to listen. Maybe now is the time to really start making some of the changes I’ve been talking about for the past 6 years. Things like living on less. Things like working in a low-paying job, but one I love. Things like living in a little box with not a lot of “stuff” around me. Things like walking, biking, and/or taking the bus where I need to go. Things like doing art – photography, painting, writing, etc – during more of my time. Things like building relationships with unexpected people. Things like becoming the radical Jesus follower I’ve always talked about wanting to be, but never made any sacrifices to become…

My friend C, in all his crazy and quirky ways, always inspires me to live passionately and deeply. To love life, and to soak it in for all it’s worth. His quote on his Facebook page says, “i never wanna sleep and always wanna wake up. such a messed up enjoyable world we get to be involved in. please don’t let it end.” I want to live that way – where I never want to sleep, and always want to wake up. Where I realize we live in a messed up world, but one that’s enjoyable. And even more, one we get to be involved in. What a gift! We get to rub shoulders with God’s creation on a daily basis. We have the ability to ingest God’s creation every day. And so often, I forget that… I forget there’s an entire world to be enjoyed – not dreaded.

May I move forward intentionally recognizing the world God has provided for me to ENJOY. May I be a person who never wants to sleep but always wants to wake up. May I be a person who moves towards living passionately and deeply. And may I continue to meet people like C who ignite a fire in me to live what I love.